with the changeover of seasons brings about a new wave of thoughts, each raising more queries than the last. i still haven’t received an answer to the question I asked previously. there’s something in the air that’s making everyone work at a slower pace than usual. but deep down inside me, i do know that everything will turn out right. only, it would be good to have a confirmation printed in black & white.

i hate insecurity & the feeling that i’m not good at something no matter how hard i try. i would be putting in 100% of my effort, while others put in 50% and achieve the same results as me. It was never like this in high school. i never felt this inferiority that i have faced for the past few years. i wonder if i’m in the wrong career. my parents don’t know abt this though. and i’ve never told them. they just think that it is a product of my dislike for the subject, and that i could do it if i tried hard enough. if not for God in the picture, i really & truly think that i would have failed many times over. i suppose i need to move away from that dreaded ‘A’ and towards something that i can really excel in. although its not easy, i’m sure that there is a way..

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